Clay and Wool

Sat 28th Jan.

I made this yesterday; an offering goddess bowl. I thought I could fill it with oil or dried flowers etc... honestly I felt I could have made loads and loads of them I enjoyed doing it so much:)

Clay Boys:

I rode my bike into town with Felix today; Saturday -market day. Winding our way through the stalls I spotted a new wool stall and ended up spending so long with the two women there. It turns out one wants to homeschool her son. The other set up the stall to sell pure wool. She has used a spinning wheel since she was 14! We had such a good conversation, spinning, dyeing etc - so much to talk about and they invited me to their knitting group on Friday mornings in the Art Centre. Plus I can take the boys with me! Woo - hoo! Becky is bringing her drop spindle to show me. I am so happy, I have wanted to learn to spin for such a long time. They were such nice women too, so easy to talk to. I have not met anyone in this town like them before. Plus I finally get to learn to spin! Can you guess how pleased I am today! What a good morning.

Breasts on a plate

Missed my Ashtanga Yoga class last night. Felix cluing to me and cried saying 'makes me so sad, you go yoga' with big drippy tears. Ahh! It is my only hour and a half away from him in the entire week! You'd think I abandoned him all day every day the way he clung monkey like to me. I think he was just tired and I didn't mind so much to be honest, though I always thought attached babies would be happy to see their mamas go off for a bit, or at least not mind too much once they'd reached a certain age. Isaac has always been fine and dandy but I suppose Felix must not have reached the certain age of pleasant goodbyes. I try to reason with myself that there will be plenty of time for yoga classes in a while once he is a bit older and more resiliant. I think this is what is stopping me from contemplating another pregnancy yet. I'd like for all of my children to be age-related playmates for sure, but I feel as though I have just spent five years without a scrap of time to do anything for myself. Some days I don't feel as if I have had even five minutes to think my own thoughts. This is the true of most AP mama's I imagine, and though I really do see myself with one last baby, I just want to have a couple of years first to:

Start learning to play the piano
Take a herbal medicine course
Increase Ashtanga classes
Learn to spin and dye my own wool
Time for writing

Felix is so much wanting to nurse still. He will be 3 in march and he nurses like he did aged 1. I do so want him to have weaned before another babe takes my breasts. Will I have anything resembling breasts left I wonder...? I can lift up a breast and it lies in my palm flat as though resting on a plate! In one way I am pround of their shape, I mean, they resemble that of a woman well versed in the art of nursing. Another bit of me is dismayed that my 26 year old breasts are tribe like 40 yr old ones. When I was 18 in my mind and soul I felt used and worn out and so so old. In my heart and soul now I feel bouyant and young but I look at my breasts and they have long slivers of silver running down them, and whilst my nipples point outwards rather than down, they look well, well-sucked. Right now as I type I am being hassled for my sharing of 'miwwky'. And having a conversation about putting a tent up in the garden. And negotiating how best to spend the day. One boy has taught himself to click his tounge on the roof of his mouth and so the clacking and sucking noise follows us everywhere. I must go to the bookshop today. Must. (Preferably without children - can I rope my mother into our plans?) So must one boy visit the wood adventure playground in Hamsterly forest. Another wants to do clay modelling (I'd like to make an offering bowl).

I do so hope they will always be filled will desires to use their little bodies and hands and minds.

The Ancient Mother pendant arrived:

Juicy Baby Lamb Chops

Nourishing foods that make me feel good:

Juicy baby lamb chops grilled so lighty and sprinkled with seasoning. Big green salad with a lemon-oil dressing and strips of chicken. I get so happy after eating that salad but I like to have the chicken last right through the whole salad so not a skimpy one. VCO straight into my mouth from the spoon (only one variety I can eat like that, the other is too oily). Orange fleshed melon in the summer. Late spring raw cream. I can't wait until the cows are out to pasture again, the milk is so rich when they get back out after so much winter hay. Egg yolks sprinkled w. sea salt. Deep dark red clover infusions with an ounce or more herb and capped overnight. Sweet potato roasted w. VCO and sea salt. Cod with lime juice squeezed over.

I took Pure Synergy for the longest time and then stopped and did not feel a bit of difference. So I am not spending on that again (unless pre-natally, I might use it too boost myself).

I love lots of onions and garlic with everything and I use echinacea lots through the winter cos' it seems to help me feel strong.

How could I forget my lovely friend Kimchi (and kimchi juice for salads):

On a quest for centred self and a symbol to guide me through the year, I am looking for a Goddess pendant. I want to keep this thought floating in my mind when feeling intolerence (of others and their seemingly radical beliefs) that there is of course the notion that all gods are essentially One. That though God is called by many names, yet still is everywhere the One. So whilst praying to the Virgin Mary, one is also praying to the World Mother in one of her many forms. The God of the priests and of the pagans, Buddha, The Goddess.... is the same One. Even if Chrsitians do not know this, or recognise it (which to me seems one of their greater faults, along with seeking to blot out all wisdom save their own ), I think most pagans essentially know this truth.

Opening my mouth and checking out what can go in....

18th Jan 06'

Looking for new suppliers to replace our soon to be lost ones. Organic raw milk, meat, veg, fruit and herbs (dried and fresh). I anticipate the milk being the hardest to come by. Although, one of the country's leading organic dairies is based right where we are moving too. BUT, as previously encountered, most commercial dairies are unwilling to sell raw milk. Perhaps I could ask for them to GIVE it to us free and we could make a charitable donation :) I wonder how we could skirt round it..... Just checked Rachels Dairy in Wales and they will not sell us raw milk.


Creamy Coconut Chocolate

This is the recipe I am relying on for my sweet cravings but which supposedly causes one to loose weight (Whilst eating it? Or if one goes for a jog afterwards?.....) ):

1/4 block of coconut cream
same amount of Virgin Coconut Oil

Melt both very gently in a thick bottomed pan until liquid.

Add 3 Tbsp of pure organic cocoa (have heard carob can be sub'd here but am not a fan myself) plus what ever your heart desires -mine usually asks for:
desicated coconut,
flaked almonds,
dribble of vanilla extract
dribble of almond extract
one melted tablespoon of raw (Eco-Kiw is my fave) honey

Mix well and if feeling extravagant spoon into tiny paper cases. Otherwise pour into the lid of a pyrex glass dish and refridgerate until solid.

Food today:
Soaked oat porridge w. raw milk and maple syrup, then bananas on toast. Crackers and cream cheese, carrot sticks and homus and VCO based cookies for lunch. Tonight I cooked vegtable chips (roast slices of sweet potato, red potato, carrot, parsnip), cod with ghee, lemon, herbs and sea salt. Leaf salad with kimchi juice. Side dish of leftover homous and halloumi chesse.

University town of Aberstwyth

16th Jan 06



Here it is, where we are headed:

''Geographically, Aberystwyth is somewhat isolated from the rest of Britain by the Cambrian mountains which sweep down the backbone of Wales. In the past this isolation pushed the peoples of Cardigan Bay to make do with the resources available locally, rather than transport materials or services over the mountains. Even now in the rest of Wales, the term Cardi referrers the 'thrift' of the people in this area. An advantage of this isolation is that over the years Aberystwyth has acquired many more resources than a town of this size would normally have. It has become the centre for a wide rural area between the Cambrian Mountains and the sea.''


I like the sound of a thrifty town.

"The ancient landscape of Britain is a subject of fascination to many people. They love to visit stone circles and rows, passage mounds and dolmens and individual standing stones whose purpose now seems mysterious and inexplicable."

So, after reading Mists of Avalon, I am wondering if little fairy folk still hide out in the hills...? Are there any ancient oak groves left? Do members of the Welsh population regularly transcend normal life and venture forth to run with King stag (bodies smeared with woad and spotted deerskin rags covering their flanks).... Are there beltane fires and children of mysterious origin I wonder (or might children of questionable parentage be due to drunken fumbles in pub car parks as elsewhere in the country :)) ? I have to admit to (hypothetically) not being opposed to the beltane rites...*blush and smirk* I am known (in self only) to be free and easy but wonder what Don has to say on the subject....

Waiting with Winter Walks

This is the beginning. Of a new year. Not only in the calender sense. On we move.

But first is this wait. I am striving to be good at waiting. Good things come to those who wait says my Grandmother. Rather smugly (can I say irritatingly about an elder?).

And so we walk and walk and the time goes by. A house to value and sell takes longer than the conversation one initially has about it. I realise. I watch the pony crunching up our organic carrots and dripping slithers on our boots (there goes our dinner, good job there are lentils in the cupboard and a slab of bloody meat dripping away it's ice). Our walks seem to end constantly with this fat black/chocolate shetland pony. I view it with a watchful eye: soon this pony will be in our stories only; can you remember little Blackie?

Felix and myself, with Blackie behind the camera.

Felix and his favourite horse, I call him Dwarf. The horse that is.