The secret yearnings of my soul
-that dark and shaded lining,
speaks of a song my mouth can never voice.
That I will never have to make that choice!
Easier (by far) to live with the crushing heaviness of your own heart
than to see bitterness
destroy others. Still dear.
Cherished. Loved. Differently.
The shadowy lining
-that wispering,
is quiet
but sometimes fierce. There are moments when I lean towards it,
straining for memories.
A pale green stem, slender and wavering toward milky soft sun.
Otherworldy enough to be moonlight now.
I forget that part of me is always slightly shadowed, in darkness.
Then I feel I have been moved,
repositioned in full glaring sun.
Illusion. Maybe hope.
Some hurts stretch beyond this life and merge further back to another.
Twined within the eyes - as you recognise your past.
Self. And future.
In the depths of dreams it is another life playing out without flesh.
Giving up desire.
Not trying to take what is not mine to have.
Fitting into a body long moved on.
This is the deepest betrayal. The longing.
It does not feel like honour. In honour of self.
Or of now. Of this life.
Giving up my desire for 'more'.
General and specific.
What is your 'more'?
Mine is a shade of purple that moves in the light. It is specific.
Pinpoint, arrow-like.
My elf-arm fails to shoot this bow (weak, resigned or seeking fresh target?)
My destiny is shadowed but
giving up the desire is easier than seeing in darkness.
I think this may be the secret to our fleeting, human happiness.
The giving up of what was never ours.
1 comment:
Brillian poem! The best i have heard in a long while! So touching and honest yet heart wrenchingly sad.
..."giving up what was never ours", i think we all say this is one of the hardest tasks of all one has to do in life as we do it so much without even noticing.
I also liked the bit about dreams, i believe that dreaming is a place where the other self exisits (perhaps the ego-free self?)to open up our eyes and give us ideas about our subconsciousness and our consciousness in this reality. I feel we need to use our dreams as tools to allow us understand ourselves and others better in another dream world (this reality!). What if our dreams are actually where we exist mostly and here and now is actually the dream or sometimes a nightmare!!?
Thanks for your poem claire, it has made me think....something that is clearly lacking in people these days!
x x x
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