the subtle change

I am slow to get the feeling of and to settle into Autumn this year. Of course I am. It seemed like the summer was one slow long stretch of warm/rainy waiting. Just waiting. That stretched on and on and on in those last weeks of pregnancy that seemingly refused to end. Then I had my week of Iona's birth in hospital and then at home in bed and I find when I emerge, it is a whole new season. I missed the change over.

That subtle change, what with the huge enormous splash of life that soaked and covered me whole with the birth of my fourth little person. Yet I don't really mind. I am swimming along happily in these days of newborn-ness. I really am. The odd bursting of hormonal tears aside (that's de rigour for new mamas anyway) I am happy with my lot. More so these last couple of days that see me stretching my walking legs again, going outdoors and not needing any pain meds. Just a week ago I could not do that, so I am greatful this week that I can.

Everyone here are starting or re-starting activities. Isaac started high school and music lessons and his life seems so jam packed it's more about slowing down and paring back for him. Felix started Forest School again, new trampolining and drumming lessons, and is continuing with climbing. Esmé has ballet, dance and a morning at nursery. All of this with The Man and friends helping with driving. That is something I just cannot do right now. It's lovely actually to not have to! To rest and feed Iona every hour. Take little walks, watch films and attempt tiny baking or crafty bits with Esmé, listen to Felix read... collect conkers. Look at the household mess and let Don contend with it at weekends. This is a time I will not have again, as is all, so I am just letting it unfold, not letting myself be too anxious or stressed by the bits I cannot control (because, um, yeah, Control Freak is my middle name, ordinarily).