Competition -comparison (Part II)

Thinking more about competition, or more specifically, comparing oneself or ones situation with another - imagined or real. This is really depressing. Really I can't see how it can lead to helpful thoughts and ideas on how to get where you want to be, or achieve what you desire if you are hampered by the dragging self-pitying thoughts of - look at X doing Y! Oh, I wish I was doing Y, or even I wish I were X, she's got life so sorted... blah blah. Does this comparison help anyone? Does it make you feel better about where you are right now? Do you feel appreciating of all you have now and can you be fully aware of what life is offering? Does this sort of thinking close you off to possibility and creativity or crank you open wide - ready to see and experience...? Well. Obviously the narrow and self doubting thoughts of comparison would close off even Buddha. The other day I found myself in this particular situation, and although it makes me look ridiculous and judgmental I will put it here, just to highlight what I am saying.

Isaac had fallen and hurt his head. I carried him into the kitchen and was soothing him with hugs (and the Mr Bump cool gel pack). But still the sorrow and tears and wails of pain. Don comes in carrying Felix and proceeds to dangle Felix upside down. Now, Felix likes this and laughs out loud, but I get the feeling Don is doing this to 'jolly' Isaac along. Suddenly I am in this whirlwind type of headspace remembering all of those times I was told as a child 'Oh come on! It can't have hurt THAT much!' and other unhelpful things; it's just a scratch, you're not bleeding to death, pull yourself together girl!' I remember the jollying along, the attempted distractions, here have this cookie, come on now, stop crying!'

(On a side note, as typing, I am reminded of another sort of comparison and children - how children live so bodily In The Moment - they are quite unable to compare this particular hurt to another imagined greater one, or a previous one. And so we are confronted with the raw emotion of life being lived without comparison, just total feeling)

So, I was starting to get irritated at Don and was wondering what to say to put an end to this (my) unbearable feeling of 'forced joviality'. When, Isaac bursts out laughing and smiles and says, 'Claire, Don is making me feel so cheerful now!' I am suddenly so ashamed of my irritation. It was all MY comparison! My comparing what Don was doing to what I remembered happening to myself. I had transplanted Don into the position of my own father - which he is totally unlike in every possible way - and not liking what I was seeing/remembering. Of course, I had forgotten in that whirlwind moment that Isaac has never been made to feel that his hurts should be pressed down and ignored, trivialised so as to make everyone else feel better. So he never for one moment felt the resentment towards his daddy for 'jollying him along'. And it is VERY true, Don does make us all feel cheerful. Which I pointed out, right then, in all truth. So we had a happy/smoochy family moment instead of a horrid one.

The more I think about it, I feel that competition and comparison in every sense are truly to be avoided. Often it is the unconscious source of much mis-communication and subsequent anger.

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Side note II - I mentioned to Don about my dislike of competition and it's use in sports. He said, yes that's all very well, but what about the individual who LOVES competitive sport? You would attempt to stop them/dissuade them from playing/seeking to play because of your ideals? Hmmmm.... I'll have to think about that one. But perhaps the non-competitive nature of life from a young age might counteract the desire for competition?