What does this mean? I have been forced this week to re think what I thought unschooling means. Why? Because Isaac decided this week he would like to try school. And that is where he is this very minute. He went yesterday too. It's his two day trial. If he likes it (he REALLY did yesterday) then he will be going for a two week trial in September.
Can I still call myself an unschooler? Do I care about a label? Ultimately no, the words we use don't adequately describe individual situations, they are useful but meaningless in the end. However. I rather liked the term 'unschooling', it sounds anti-something (er, that would be school), a going against the grain type of liberal attitudism.
I pondered this to a friend and she said Isaac going to school because he wants to try out school is exactly as if he were choosing to take a Japanese class. He knows he doesn't have to go. Which is the thing. There is no pressure. He is free to go or not to. So I follow his lead and interests in what he wants to do with himself. Which is what we have always done as 'unschoolers'.
Still it felt very weird to the rest of us yesterday, our first ever Isaac-free day.
Felix and Esmé discussing the merits of making people from mud. Even the cat was interested in Felix's finer points.
I had a sudden panic once we were home. I am so used to the boys running off together and playing for half the day that I didn't know what to do when I looked at Felix, brotherless. Rather tactlessly I asked him if he missed his brother yet. But his answer made me squeeze my eyes shut with a few tears.
'Well, Isaac really wanted to go didn't he? he was so excited. So I am really happy for him.'
And he totally was. Of course I should have been turning the question to myself, but I would not have been so eloquent or spot on as was Felix's with his response. He did some drawing. We made flapjacks and banana cake. We had lunch, went for a walk, pottered and played in the veg garden/sand pit. Felix ran off to make mud people..... I hung out washing, they bounced on the trampoline.... and then it was time to collect Isaac. Who gave me the thumbs up ran off to play with his new friends and Felix in the playground. Even Esmé joined in.
So we are unschooling still. Only one of my children happens to be at school right now :)
My dh reminded me that it's not a case of 'school bad, home good' (you gotta think Animal Farm there) it's more of a case of families trying and exploring and allowing each other the freedom to choose their own paths without the other members projecting on their theories and ideas, what ever their ages. Or experiences. It's hard. It's easy. It's sad and it's happy. I think that just about sums up Parenting on most days anyway :)
As well as flapjacks and cake for our camping trip tomorrow (with Isaac!) today Fe and I made a milkshake (for him) whizzed in the blender: goat milk a banana, ice cubes and some vanilla extract. He really liked it. Then we made this Chocolate Toffee, OMG, it is divine. The cacao nibs give this tiny bit of crunch, just perfect. Only don't do as we did and add a tablespoon of salt. We couldn't eat any of that batch. Stick to a teaspoon and the results are just lovely.
Chocolate Toffee
2 Tbls virgin coconut oil, melted
1/2 to 3/4 cup of tahini
1/2 cup agave nectar
1 tsp Himalayan or sea salt
2 Tbls cocoa or carob
2 Tbls cacao nibs
1 Tbls vanilla extract
~ Mix all together really well and pour into a cling film lined tub. Freeze and then cut into squares.
Sometimes when the going gets tough and your heart aches a bit, some chocolate toffee eases the way. That's my excuse anyway.
8 comments:
What an intuitive boy Felix is to make a comment like that. Best of luck to all of you in the ever twisting journey of life.
Both of your boys are so brave. Issac, for jumping into the unknown and trying school and Felix (and you) for being happy for Issac's new adventure...no matter what comes out of it.
I would say time and again that our children's abilities to be their own people and make their own choices is that best and worst thing about parenting.
Yep, I second what the others have said. I also reckon you need a big hug too, I bet you've been through it a bit, but that is motherhood isn't it. No rules, just instinct and finding the right route to your child's happiness and that's what being a good mum is all about I reckon.
Gosh. And I'm reading this just after picking up a friend's children from school this afternoon and causing me to think about it all. Isaac is his own person, and will make a good decision about school. My eldest son did school until he was in the first year of secondary and enjoyed the experience until then. It isn't all bad as long as you have the time to do some of the things you do now, after school. It is all about balance I think. And the type of child too I guess.
Really enjoying the 'Nourishing Traditions' book btw I'm finding it harder and harder to eat so many things!!! Having been a cereal for breakfast person all my life, I'm really struggling on that one!!
Well done on giving Isaac the chance to try school out...it is so very hard.
I frequently read your blog-its so interesting and the pictures are so beautiful. I felt moved to leave a comment tonight after reading because my daughter went into school in Jan 2009 after 3 years of homeschooling. It was a family decision for many reasons but she had expressed a keenness to go. She loves it and has adjusted really easily. I have struggled with the change and to be honest I felt a bit rejected for a while and as if I had lost something but her happiness shows me that it is right for her and that is what my role is-to stand by her side as she makes her decisions. Good luck with it all!
Hey... fab post lady!!
It sounds like you are preparing your kidlets in the most perfect way possible to make their own decisions. Your support of Isaac's choice will have a massive effect right into the future!
They sound like such fantastically happy kiddos.
xox
For a moment there I thought you'd all been making poo people. Mud though, good. I love that you are bringing your unschooling perspective to Isaac's school experience. As other's have said, his intuition will serve him well. Hard to see him off though. Toffee looks GOOD. xx
LOL at Willow81's Poo people :)
Claire I've just been chatting to your Mum and she told me Isaac had been to school yesterday. Rose was visiting her new school yesterday too which is what sparked of my blog post yesterday. I imagine we are experiencing similar emotions at the moment. I have started asking myself one single question in relation to my kids and school and that is "are they happy?" Most of the time it's yes and really that's all that matters. Isaac is probably at the perfect age for starting school. If Daisy is anything to go by then 8 year olds are absolutely buzzing with confidence and enthusiasm! All this time I've been wishing that D would agree to home schooling but actually if I asked the kids what they wanted I know that there is no way Daisy would give school up! Sometimes I look at her and when I see how independent and strong she is I feel sort of redundant. I'm fully anticipating more of these feelings in September as they all return to school and leave me at home with nothing but the laundry and my thoughts!
Anyway, all being well I'll see you next week and we can console each other then!
Love to all,
Natalie
x
Post a Comment